I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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