i barfeds in our rink
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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