He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
