then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
