I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
