woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
