um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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