Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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