took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
