Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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