Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
