Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Someone came in the potted fern
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize