Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
