Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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