I skipped work to stalk him.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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