Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
