O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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