Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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