I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
