I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
