Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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