you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
