Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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