Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
