evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize