I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
