I got chris browned last night
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
