areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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