i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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