I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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