and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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