her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
