It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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