Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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