Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I AM VODKA MAN
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
