Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
