one word: firstdatebathroomanal
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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