it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
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YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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