im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
