I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
