No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
