Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
