Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
