What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
