I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize