i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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