I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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