im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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