Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
