New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I have fence marks all over my body
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
