Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
