whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
