i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
