He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize