I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I got inside last night via doggy door
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
