My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
