I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
