Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
