I didn't shave. On purpose
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
