she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
