Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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